Ulasan Filem Marriage Story

Minggu lepas saya menonton cerita "Marriage Story" dengan Mama di Netflix. Dua motivasi saya mengajak Mama menonton cerita ini:

1. Filem ini mendapat ulasan yang sangat baik dari rata-rata komen yang saya baca. Kedua-dua pelakon utama dan pengarah/penulis menerima pencalonan di Golden Globe dengan persembahan mereka.

2. Adam Driver.

Merujuk kepada sebab pertama, saya bukanlah seorang yang senang terpengaruh dengan filem-filem "Oscar bait". Filem bagi saya haruslah menghiburkan, dan bukanlah "preachy". Impresi saya (dan ini bukanlah bermakna ianya betul) terhadap filem-filem yang tercalon untuk kategori "Best Picture" adalah ianya bosan dengan isu yang berat. Adik saudara saya mengesyorkan saya menonton filem "Parasite", dengan"plot-twist" yang mengerikan. Ianya turut menerima ulasan-ulasan yang sangat baik. Walaupun saya sedikit tertarik, bunyinya seperti filem ini akan menyebabkan saya rasa tertekan selepas habis menontonnya, maka saya hanya mendengar plot cerita ini dengan "spoilers" daripada Muhammad sahaja.

Namun filem Marriage Story dikategorikan sebagai "comedy-drama", melancarkan beberapa "memes" di internet daripada babak-babaknya. Ianya "intriguing", menimbulkan sebuah rasa minat dan ingin tahu. Sungguhpun begitu, sebab pertama ini sebenarnya tidak cukup kuat untuk menarik saya menonton cerita ini sehinggalah..

Saya habis menonton Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker yang turut dibintangi Adam Driver. Saya adalah peminat tegar siri filem ini. Antara ingatan paling awal saya mengenai Star Wars adalah menonton adegan pertempuran di Endor bersama Ewoks dalam filem Return of the Jedi di RTM. Dengan "Sequel Trilogy" yang dilancarkan oleh The Force Awakens, watak yang paling mengesankan adalah Kylo Ren/Ben Solo. Saya tidak akan menceritakan punca kehampaan saya dengan filem terkini ini, cukup untuk dinyatakan Adam Driver sungguh cemerlang namun keseluruhan cerita ini tidak memuaskan. Ia menyebabkan saya rasa tergantung dan dikecewakan selepas 2 tahun menunggu sambungannya.

Marriage Story adalah satu filem yang sangat jauh dengan Star Wars. Ianya filem yang menceritakan sebuah kisah cinta melalui perceraian. Menonton filem ini, kita faham mengapa dua watak suami-isteri ini memerlukan perpisahan, namun tiada seorang pun dipaparkan sebagai "watak jahat". Charlie (Adam Driver) dan Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) keduanya adalah peribadi yang baik, dan mencuba yang terbaik untuk meleraikan kehidupan mereka secara aman. Konflik berlaku apabila mereka diwakili peguam-peguam cekap yang cukup faham dengan sistem buas perundangan berkait perceraian. Perkara-perkara yang sebelumnya nampak kecil seperti Charlie yang tidak perasan kerusi keselamatan anaknya tidak dipasang lengkap pada kereta sewa, atau Nicole yang sedikit pening selepas minum wain di waktu makan malam dijadikan senjata untuk menyerang peribadi mereka sebagai ibu-bapa di kamar mahkamah dalam menuntut hak penjagaan anak mereka, Henry. Bak kata Nora peguam bagi Nicole, "Sistem ini memenangkan perlakuan buruk".

Ada satu babak yang amat mengesankan bagi saya. Satu malam ketika penggiliran jagaan anak di pihak Charlie, pintu pagar di rumah Nicole rosak dan tidak dapat ditutup. Nicole telah menghubungi Charlie untuk bantuan. Setelah berjaya dibaiki, mereka berdua menolak pagar yang berat itu bersama, perlahan-lahan menutupnya rapat. Satu perlambangan yang amat berpadanan dengan apa yang sedang mereka berdua hadapi.

Filem ini jujur sebagai sebuah cerita mengenai perleraian rumah tangga. Walaupun ia berjaya mendatangkan sebuah rasa sesalan kepada saya sebagai penonton di atas perpisahan Charlie dan Nicole, ianya tidak sesekali menawarkan bahawa mereka akan kembali bersama. Di akhir filem, Charlie dan Nicole berusaha melengkapkan realiti baru penjagaan-bersama mereka, dan mereka berdua juga nampak di posisi yang baik dalam kehidupan baru masing-masing.

Marriage Story memberikan rasa katarsis kepada saya, sesuatu yang hilang tetapi amat diperlukan dalam menyaksikan The Rise of Skywalker.

The Further Escape

They say one of the things you can buy that actually make you richer is to travel. But they didn't tell what comes afterwards, a deep longing for another trip, again and again and again.

These past few weeks I've been attacked by the travel bug. Even though technically we traveled this year, February felt forever ago. I miss traveling so much that I feel like crying. I don't know if the underlying issue is the need to escape reality (and I don't feel like analyzing myself now, much.) The Google Flights website received so many traffic from me, trying to find an interesting place to go within a sensible ticket cost. Alas, the search is still unfruitful.

Early this year we went to London. And Brussels. And Amsterdam. And last year I went to London. And Liverpool. And Paris.

I don't know why, but before I went to my first trip to England & France in 2018, I hardly could say out loud where exactly I'm heading. It felt so very pretentious saying I'm taking a trip to London and Paris. The truth is, I could hardly believe it, that I actually went there, and twice! I fell in love with London in such a deep way, that I had to take Mama there just the next year. It is something about the buildings, and the museums, and just the ambiance. England felt very familiar from the Enid Blyton stories I read as children, and later on all the guilty pleasures Regency Romance I devoured after SPM. Also probably Bridget Jones with a liberal dosage of Love Actually too.

Anyway, as writing is therapeutic and I am self-healing my self-diagnosed travel flu, here are pictures from my 2018 trip, with some captions.

2018. When we arrived, I was so out of it with jet lag, and desperately just
wanted to sleep. But sweet, sweet Uncle Victor actually went out of his
ways to cook for us. So this was actually an early dinner, London time,
but it was around 2am Malaysian time

The next day we had to take a train to Liverpool, but not before breakfast at Uncle Victor's house. Look at that bag of packed fruits for us! Uncle, you have a younger brother tak?

Here is my first picture in England, in front of Uncle Victor's house in Fulham. This where I almost cried, because it. sank. in. The freezing weather and ALL the beautiful buildings around really drove the point that I'm in London. Look at how big that grin is.

Here's my travel buddy, and the one I owe the trip to. Back in 2017, I was planning the trip with someone but it fell through. Then I asked Elyn, do you want to go to UK with me? And guess what she said? Jom. adgasdjkahshgk

Percayalah, ini tengah posing. This is the station nearest to Uncle Victor's. There was a funny story when we wanted to reload our (borrowed from Uncle Victor) Oyster Card. The only operating machine was coins only, and our coins kept on being rejected. It turns out it was old coins, they've changed their notes and coins few years back.

The only picture I took inside the train because I had such terrible motion sickness! I never had it that bad. I guess it was the jet lag and still feeling tired, and our seats were also facing backwards. To make it worse, we were hungry (even though we had breakfast) and bought tuna sandwich with tea in the train. The food somehow made it worse. I still have some trauma with tuna sandwich.

When we arrived in Liverpool, I was still very nauseous so we took the black cab to our hotel. When we tried to pay using the old 5 pounds note, the taxi driver told us it was no longer in use. OHHH barulah faham. I laid down for a little while and when it was better, we took a walk to Albert Dock here, just in front of our hotel. Sigh. I miss this place so much.

More Albert Dock..

Seketul Alin di Liverpool. It was so windy and very cold.

Everton official store in Liverpool One shopping mall. Such a clever play of words. Tapi kalah jugak.

Dinner with Halal Nando's in Liverpool One. Weyyy laparrr.

Waiting for the bus to go to...

Anfield! It was sooo magical. We went to the Stadium Tour (thank you Elyn!) and at the end there was a Gerrard exhibition. I cried watching the clip on Istanbul again.

Saya dengan ini mengumumkan bahawa Klopp is Abah. Eh.

I don't think this can ever be forgotten.

How la this is the staple British food? Patutlah Mat Dan tak mau balik UK dah.

Tengoklah betapa murahnya barangan dapur. Sila jangan convert.

Breakfast at Pret. Sebelum tergigit pastry tak halal.

Jalan-jalan sekitar Liverpool City and seeing some familiar faces...

Back in London. Strawberry singgit je satu pek baq hang! Makan la sampai buncit!

Entrance to Station. Kejadian stesen Tube biasa hangpa pun bukan main lawa.. Manala cheq tak jatuh chentaaa

Dinner at TukDin in London. Imagine being hungry, and cold, and then you get to eat nasi panas-panas with some spicy chicken. Almost heaven.

Uncle Victor melayan kitorang yang nak pergi tengok Stamford Bridge. He parked at a no park zone just to indulge us. Nasib baik tak kena saman.

With a cup of hot coffee from Pret at Hyde Park. Who needs hand warmers when you can have sweet, sweet caffeine? Yang ini pun jaket pinjam.

This was my favourite day of the whole 2018 trip. When we walked along Thames river from Westminster Abbey, to Tower Bridge. I felt so full looking at all the beautiful old buildings, the river, the people.. I love majestic cities. so. much.

Sebelum Spider-man lawan Mysterio dekat sini, kami sampai dulu dah.

Faham tak betapa nikmatnya makan nasi dengan sambal pedas, telur dan timun dekat London? Don't laugh at me when I pack my rice cooker.

Last picture in front of the hotel we stayed near Bayswater. That yellow bag was so heavy, panjang Bismillah we both baca before attempting to bring it down. In the end we were scolded by the guy manning the counter for not asking for help. Selamba je dia angkat turun.

Then Paris. This was Gare du Nord, terminus of Eurostar from London.

Just outside of the station there is this Halal restaurant. I went there alone, Elyn was waiting for our e-hailing driver. Owner was so friendly and know how much we need spiciness in our shawarma.

Inside of the car heading towards our hotel, me and Elyn both can smell the food. And OMG, it was as delicious as it smelled and looked. Seriously, go here and buy if you are in Gare du Nord.

Inside the Metro station heading towards Val d' Europe.

Apparently we didn't take lots of pictures, busy shopping. Jumpa satu geng Malaysians tengah shopping jugak, this one pakcik tengah fikir-fikir nak beli ke tak this one beautiful lamb leather bag. I pun buat hasutan dekat dia "Pakcik, biar menyesal beli, jangan menyesal tak beli." Later, when we stumbled upon each other again I asked his daughter, "Beli tak?" "Beli!" LOL.

As if we can go to Paris and not visit this towering steel. I feel like I can hear La Vie En Rose playing while looking at this picture. It must be all the times I watched Sabrina when I was younger.

From on top of the tower. Cold, cold, cold.

All roads in Paris lead to Arc de Triomphe.

Walking along Champs-Elysees. We entered L'occitane and while we were browsing, I had a moment of self-awareness and said to Elyn: "We are actually shopping in Paris". Macam Mak Datin gitu.

In front of the Louvre. I was standing on something here.

Soooo many historical paintings and it is such a waste not knowing much about them. I feel like I could've appreciated them more if I know their stories. Next time I must follow a guide. We got to see the majestic Monalisa though! Cue Da Vinci Code.

One of the many bridges across the Seine.

The two majestic towers of Notre Dame.

Halal Vietnamese restaurant near our hotel. But the chicken is fake chicken meat?? The texture is not the usual chicken texture. Probably chicken-flavoured something.

Suddenly it was time to go home. So sad. This was our meal at the CDG airport because I know I would be hungry waiting to be served on the flight. Sos cili bawak dari Malaysia.

We looked for a place to do prayer at the airport and found this secluded area. Not long after someone else had the same idea as us.

Emirates in flight entertainment, the top hits in UK back in 1997. When Prince William was still good looking and not a cheating sc*m. Berani kau curang terhadap Kate yang gorgeous tu.

In-flight meal. Eh, bolehlah.

And that was it. I do feel so much richer for having been on this trip. I thank Allah for making it possible... and thank you so much to Elyn too. I am so blessed.

When I need to, I'll post about the 2019 trip. May all of us be given the opportunities to travel too, again and again.

KonMaried

After feeling left out, the unpopular kid in school for so long reading people discussing about shows they watched on Netflix, I surrendered to the temptation of consumerism and subscribed to the service.

One of the first shows I watched is of course, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. There are so many polarizing sentiments about her, but I like this one insight about the KonMari method: she's giving you permission to let go.

I know a few hoarders in my life, I've always wonder what makes them so hard to throw stuffs away. Perhaps permission is one of the things lacking.

I like how Marie tells us to say thank you to the stuffs you are letting go. I never had any problem throwing stuffs before, but this mindful way of separating with your belongings is something new. Whenever I do any cleaning, it is almost guaranteed that I'd throw away multiple bags of stuffs. (I guess that's what happened to my teenage diaries. A past Fadzlin on a cleaning mission decided written proofs of teenage angst were too embarrassing to keep).

But now, rather than feeling sad of separating with my stuffs, I feel sad at the amount of waste I'm creating. The earth is not large enough for all the rubbish humankind create, and it is also the Muslim girl in me who doesn't want to be a friend of shaiton.

I guess the solution is to live a minimalist lifestyle. Although I don't know if I'm ready for the kind of image change where I'm wearing only a few outfits repeatedly, it is something that I can try?

Separuh Aku

Semalam, di group WhatsApp keluarga Kamil yang aku hanyalah pembaca diam, pakcik dan makcikku bernostalgia mengenai zaman kanak-kanak mereka, antaranya perihal dibuli jiran sekitar kampung. Pak Jo, satu-satunya adik kandung lelaki arwah Ayah bercerita tentang dia diugut akan dilaporkan kepada polis Singapura, dan mengadu kepada Ayah. Ayah, yang dipanggil Abang Don oleh adik-adik ketawa dan berkata, mana polis Singapura ada kuasa di sini.

(Abang Don kemudiannya berkahwin dengan anak polis Singapura)

Aku, teruja dengan memori pakcik dan makcikku ini, meminta mereka menceritakan lagi mengenai Ayah.

Semua pemahamanku mengenai Ayah adalah dari sumber sekunder. Dari cerita-cerita Mama, Mak Ina, Achik, Pak Busu dan kini pakcik-makcik ku. Susuk tubuh Ayah itu terdiri dari;

Kepala; yang tidak tinggi, apabila berjalan kaki ke masjid untuk sembahyang raya hilang ditelan jalan berbukit

Muka; yang manis bermisai, selalu senyum dan berjenaka mengenakan adik-adik, namun suka juga merajuk

Bahu; yang mengeluarkan kudrat mengerjakan kebun Atok Kamil, tidak pernah lupa untuk balik semasa cuti semester dari UKM untuk membantu berkebun

Tangan; yang pandai memetik gitar, dengan lagu-lagu Elvis Presley

Kaki; yang mengayuh basikal menghantar orang-orang kampung ke mana-mana mereka mahu pergi

ya Allah, peliharalah susuk tubuh Ayahku ini. Jauhkanlah ia dari azab kubur dan api neraka, dan suatu hari nanti, Kau temukanlah kami berdua akhirnya di syurga.