For us in understanding.

Maybe..
For us,
Alone and not accompanied,

In this world we are meant to live our fullest life-
Achieve our fullest potential,
Learn to the utmost high,
Understand our deepest self,
Worship with the lightest ease,

And in the next world,
Finally,
Comforted with the closest thee.

syukur.

counting my contentment in health, family, independence, and deen. what i’ve been given is so much, exist even in those spaces not existing. just a perceived vacuum.

The tale of everything that went wrong but ended well

Yesterday I was doing my walk around the campus' lake, something that I like to do whenever I can find the time. I had the lovely company of Aisyah, my colleague. We were talking about traveling and packing and it got me reminiscing of our first day of England 2019 trip with Mama and Nadiah. There were so many things I learned that day, things that humbled me and made me grateful of Allah's blessings.

The 2019 trip was something that I prayed and wished for after the initial 2018 trip with Elyn. It was a place I sincerely wanted to bring Mama to visit. Having Nadiah to go with is the cherry on the top of this amazing plan.

The tickets were bought months in advance, and we planned meticulously. Where to stay, what to eat, transportation options, when to pray. And we had so many fun pre-trip discussions: online and physical. I bought a new phone mostly to take pictures and videos of this trip. On one very memorable occasion, me and Nadiah drove up Genting Highlands originally to buy shoes for the trip. We ended up only taking shoes measurements and buying them during the 11/11 Lazada sale. Another outing that I still remember was a day before our flight, me and Nadiah went to Mydin and we bought food stuffs: sardines, maggi, those 'must-brings' staples. A usually insignificant grocery trip became exciting with our destination in mind.

In my hubris I thought I had everything planned out perfectly. I've printed stuffs, downloaded maps, read many tips, watched many videos, and packed many things but still, we faced so many hiccups on our very first day. Here are some things we (mostly, I) did wrong:

1. Chose the wrong airline for our destination

Don't get me wrong. Singapore Airline is an excellent airline. We chose it partly because that previous year it had won the best airline, overtaking Emirates and Qatar but mostly because it offered a competitive price for the trip. I'm sure hospitality wise those seated at Business/First Class received the best serving but for us at cattle class, the whole experience is as comparable to other similar airlines, nothing glaringly more special. 

Why I felt it was a mistake to chose SIA, the lesser reason is.. the food was meh. We didn't have a choice but to eat the pre-booked halal meal and.. it didn't taste nice *insert all the cliches about Singaporean meals tasting bland*. But the main reason - it was such a longgggg journey from Changi to Heathrow. More than 13 hours non-stop. By the time we disembarked from the trip we were so exhausted and didn't have much mental and physical energy for the next equally challenging trip to our hotel.

 

Just after boarding.

After 13 hours.

 

I know that next time going to Europe it is a better option choosing one of the Middle Eastern airlines.. Qatar, Emirates, Etihad. Then the trip will be split into two, we'd had time to stretch our legs better, have a nice breathe of unrecycled air, the journey won't feel very much neverending and we'd have a choice of meals onboard. 

2. Didn't use the washroom onboard the airplane before it descended

I read about this tip many times but didn't feel that it was very important. When we landed at Heathrow, I went to the airport's washroom and.. lost precious times. It turns out, it pays to be kiasu and run/walk to the immigration booths because the line was sooooo long. I knew I made a mistake when we were among the last to arrive and the queue was ridiculous. The officers were thorough, and so took times with each passengers. It was also Friday night, and only two counters were open. It was 1hour+ until we finally cleared immigration. By the time we went to the bag carousel, it was empty, our bags were already removed. I had to ask the counter to locate our bags - arranged with other unclaimed bags. 

Nasib baik tak hilang.

 

Next time I know I have to channel my inner makcik Bedah and fight to be among the first to disembark the plane. I'd study my plane's seating charts and choose seats near the plane door. I'd empty my bladder 30 minutes before landing, I'd walk quickly on the travelator a la a businessman late for a meeting. I'd be among the first in the immigration line.

3. Arriving late at night in cold wintery London, with no internet

Because of the time lost at Heathrow, and the long time on the underground train (1 hour 30 mins), we only arrived around 11+pm in London. It was late, and Friday night. We didn't have internet in our phones as I was convinced we won't need it. I've studied our trip map diligently and our hotel should be just a few steps away from the subway exit. I've even downloaded an offline map into my phone to be used. We planned to get a UK sim card the very next day so I didn't think much of not having internet for the trip from airport to hotel. I was confident we'd find the hotel easily.

But I guess the combination of severe exhaustion, freezing weather and the cold medication I was taking (I had flu+congested nose) made me disoriented. I couldn't find the way to the hotel. We crossed the streets multiple times in many directions trying to find the right path. It was so cold, we had to open our luggage in the middle of the street to bring out the gloves. We were lost. 

Dekat je, tapi somehow tak jumpa.

 There were not a lot of people walking by so when I saw two blokes, I asked them if they know the way to our hotel. They didn't, but because they have internet in their phones, they opened Google Map and showed us the path. We thanked them, and took some times to brace ourselves before starting again. Suddenly they came back, and said they'd send us to the hotel. 

How grateful were we.. they even took our bags from us and walked the short distance with us. We talked, and they were actually on their way to a pub. They were not British, but they were working in London. Alhamdulillah we arrived safely at the hotel, they even waited until we are safely checked in. People can be amazing. Mama even said "entah-entah malaikat". MasyaAllah.

I know now that it is better to reach the city earlier. It'd be brighter, less cold, and there'd be more people. I would even buy a one day telco roaming plan eventhough it is expensive just so we have data when we need it. Having all the gloves, hot pack, scarves in my carry-on bag would also be helpful, then we won't need to open the big luggage to make ourselves warm.

4. Other stuffs but happy ending.

There were other things that happened too, Mama got stuck at the Aldgate East subway exit gate and we had to ask for help, my payment card was declined at hotel and I had to use another card, and Nadiah's luggage can't be opened with the set password. She had to brute-force the password guessing, 3 factorial it. It was very challenging, but.. all just went away when we finally got to lay down in our beds, snuggling into the blanket, wearing socks and fleece jackets, anticipating our day tomorrow. 

Even when it was difficult, Allah protected us and made sure we arrived safely. Alhamdulillah for the chance to travel. I am so thankful, and I pray there will be more chances again in the future, insyaAllah.

Still Sad

 

Seeing your name get pushed down in my messages.

Training my phone to forget you as destination.

Playing gloomy songs on repeat, messing up my Spotify's algorithm.

Removing you from my status update but wanting you to read them.

Changing your notification tone but hoping it will again chime.

Reading our last conversation and rethinking every words.

Regretting the hurt I caused you but dejected it feels needed.

Mourning our unrealized plans and places we could have visited.

Wishing.