Dijemput Tuhan

When I was in Standard One back in Sungei Besi, I remember there was this one time a girl from my class was called by a teacher to the office. She received the devastating news that her father has passed away. Being so very young, I remember thinking this is such an uncomputable news. How do you face with the lost of one's parent?

Also when I was young whenever I read or heard of those around me losing their parents or grandparents, I keep thinking that I am so lucky that it wasn't my mother, or my grandparents. Back then I thought God have a score running, and because Alin had lost her father very early, lets not take any of her loved ones just yet. Of course God do not work that way. Now that I'm wiser I know that.

My cousins lost their mother yesterday.

This is very devastating, and its gonna be really hard for them. I don't know if I can do very much but I know I will be praying that they'll be strong and can face this great test God bestowed upon them.

Al-Fatihah for Cik Yati.

Cooking need an undo button

The thing is, if it was only me I would've happily spend the whole day surfing the net and only think of cooking something for myself when I'm hungry. But I have my two brothers with me and I actually feel responsible that their routine is not disturbed very much.

So today I cooked, washed, cleaned, and took them to play bowling with our cousins. Overall a tiring but productive day.

And I'm still a lousy cook.

The Workplace of My Heart

Today I'm saying goodbye yet again to Mesiniaga, and this time I'm feeling even more devastated.

Mesiniaga.. is like a beloved and cherished first boyfriend. The one that knows you the most, and the one that you always come back to for guidance, and perpetual comfortable presence.

I was in Mesiniaga for four times. Back in 2004 I did my practical training for my Diploma program. Then in 2008 I came back again, this time interning for the Degree program. After I finished the practical duration, I took a few weeks break and then was employed again, this time as a casual worker. Finally when I had to leave for the third time, I left with an instruction to contact them again the minute I graduate.

The rest is history, I graduated and contacted the HR Manager who immediately arranged an interview for me. I thought I flunked the interview (I certainly did flunk the technical test) but apparently because they already know me, they are confident that I should be employed.

During this eleven months, I've learned a lot. I was attached to many projects, I had the chance to go to many offices. (PNB is charming in the way they preserve their building, it reminds me of 70s, 80s malay movies where they have scenes in the office. MATRADE is sparkling new, the building with a hole in the middle, and constant traffic jams whenever a high profile case is being heard in the nearby Palace of Justice. BNM is like a 5 stars hotel, the lobby, the toilet, the executive cafe, and the experience of getting to meet the Governor. BURSA, I regret to inform I never get to see a live trading, but the foodcourt in nearby Menara Maybank serve the best Nasi Goreng Ikan Masin in town. UiTM is.. UiTM. Hee.)

But most of all, I appreciate all the relationships I made during this time. I am blessed that I am surrounded with wonderful colleagues. Especially during the first few months when almost everything seems alien and a problem could take forever to solve. They helped me, guided me, understood my limitations and above all became my friends.

Beyond missing the building, ladies days at the swimming pool, various ceramahs from all-too-funny ustazs, delicious breakfasts and lunches at twelfth floor, taking a break by raiding the well-stocked locker in the unoccupied workstation for mamees, and sitting (sometimes twirling) at my beloved workstation, I will miss my friends' company and support the most.

When I told my manager my intention to resign to further my study, he said that he wishes that our path is gonna cross again. With all my heart I sincerely hope so.

Of Gifts and Thoughts

I guess I am flattered that when people think of my football club, they think about me. But I cringe that when people think about me, all they can think about is the football club.

Its like all my existence can only be defined by my love of Liverpool FC ( I want to think I am so much more than that). There's the female me, muslimah me, twenty-something me, bookaholic me, software engineer me, future grad student me, travel-loving me, music maniac me, movie buff me, and all the quirky, stupid things I say and I do that define me.

I appreciate all the gifts that I received very very much, but when I receive so many LFC related gifts I can't help but think that its such a kop out. Pun fully intended. Hehe.

Dressed

I was trawling through the internet today when I stumbled upon this picture. This dress was designed especially for Audrey Hepburn to be worn on her wedding day.



What especially amuses me, it could easily be worn today by our modern Muslim brides. Of course the middle/waist is a bit tight (but so does our usual kebayas and what nots - the keyword here is 'modern', or well, some definition of it.).

The point is, the dress, she was dressing modestly. For her wedding day she wanted to look elegant, beautiful, virtuous.. showing a lot of skin would be disrespectful, vulgar even.

THIS. Where the beauty lays in not what is perceived, but what is portrayed. Where a person wears the dress, and not the opposite (ever heard of celebrities needing industrial strength tapes to avoid 'wardrobe malfunction'? um, yeah.)

A bit of a nonsense update really.

Fact : Hari ini dan besok orang dah tak buat kerja

Selamat Hari Raya! Maafkan segala kekasaran bahasa dalam blog ini.

Bas Metro vs Bas Rapid

Sudah lama sebenarnya saya hendak menulis entri ini. Tetapi selalunya tergendala (aka malas).

Sebagai seorang yang pergi ke Kay Ell naik bas, saya dah selalu sangat naik kedua-dua bas ini. Biar saya nyatakan awal-awal pemenangnya ialah Bas Metro. Mengapa?

Bas Rapid

• Selalu sangat rosak. Pernah sewaktu saya naik Bas Metro No. 13, sebuah bas Rapid rosak di Bus Stand Klang, menghalang semua bas lain yang nak lalu. Siapa lagi yang tolong menolak bas Rapid ni? Pemandu dan konduktor Bas Metro juga.

Bas Metro

• Bukanlah tak pernah rosak, tetapi apabila rosak, bas gantian tidak perlu tunggu dengan lama. Sempit/sesak belakang kira.

Bas Rapid

• Pakcik Bas Rapid suka marah-marah. Tidak diketahuilah pula kenapa mereka begitu moody. Mungkin sebab tak ada geng/konduktor yang boleh dibawa borak. Orang naik pintu belakang : marah. Orang tekan loceng bukan pada perhentian : marah. Orang tiada duit kecil : marah. Orang tak bergerak ke belakang : marah.

Bas Metro

• Pemandu-pemandu Bas Metro kebanyakannya periang belaka. Ada sekali, bertalu-talu loceng bas ditekan oleh beberapa orang yang berlainan. Kalaulah Bas Rapid, alamat dah kena marahlah semua. Pemandu Bas Metro ini pula; "Ha, turunlah kambing-kambing sekalian.."
• Konduktor Bas Metro kebanyakannya telephatic. Kalau kita bagi RM 5, bakinya mesti RM 3. Tahu-tahu sahaja kita hendak ke USJ.
  

Bas Rapid

• Enjin auto. Tak pick-up. Tak laju. Tak best.

Bas Metro

• Enjin manual. Pick-up bila lampu hijau. Bila jammed, pemandu akan ikut jalan mana-mana yang tak pernah lalu dan tiba-tiba ajaib keluar balik dekat federal highway.
  

Bas Metro

• Tidak nampak beza menaiki Bas Metro di tahun 90-an, dan tahun 2000-an ini. Lagu-lagu yang dipasang selalunya lagu-lagu Slam, Ukays, Spring, Terra Rossa, Wings, Gersang.. Agaknya lagu-lagu ini yang sedap didengar sambil membawa bas. Saya tidak kisah, malahan sangat suka.

Bas Rapid

• Kononnya zaman serba canggih, hampir setiap bas ada dua biji televisyen. Namun yang ditayangkan iklan-iklan dan rancangan-rancangan tv yang diulang-ulang. Kadang-kadang siri Puteri episod dua kurun lepas, dan kadang-kadang siri Bella lakonan paling tak hebat Elly Mazlein. Eee yucks.
  

Pengumuman

Blog ini kini bertukar alamat. Posmen sila hantar ke :

http://fadzlin14.blogspot.com

(sebenarnya nak pakai fadzlin sahaja, tapi dah diambil satu blog yang 5 tahun tak update. tak aci.)

You hear that? That's my heart breaking.

Cuti Sekolah

Adik siapalah ni...

Lagi lagi Bola

Selesai sudah musim bola sepak Inggeris, dan bermulanya summer transfer window; "silly season".

Perasaan saya berbelah bagi apabila musim ini bermula. Saya tahu saya pasti bosan tanpa siaran lazim bola sepak di hujung minggu, tapi pada masa yang sama musim ini juga selalunya kejohanan-kejohanan besar seperti Piala Dunia dan EURO dimainkan. Saya pengikut bola sepak kelab, tetapi saya juga sangat teruja menonton bola sepak kebangsaan. Tahun ini tiada kejohanan besar, cuma "Confederation Cup" untuk direbut juara-juara setiap kontinen. (Saya masih menyokong Sepanyol, tetapi saya pasti juga sangat gembira jika Iraq memenanginya.)

Tetapi, paling saya tidak suka mengenai musim ini: apabila membaca bermacam-macam spekulasi mengenai pemain-pemain kegemaran saya, terutamanya Xabi Alonso. Dia nampaknya pemain "in" musim ini. Kelab-kelab seperti Juventus, Real Madrid, AC Milan, Manchester City berebut-rebut mahu menandatanganinya. Dan tajuk berita terkini : "Saya mahukan Xabi di Arsenal - Fabregas".

Grrr nyah kamu semua dari sini.

Panas

Cuaca sekarang ini, panas panas panas.

(Tapi pasti tak sepanas api neraka.)

life is but a dream

it can be one day,
it is revealed that this has been a very realistic dream
that she wished for in one heartfelt prayer
as guide
and when she finally wakes up,
she will say no.

Overcoming Fear

If you're my mum, well, you're not, (unless you are Mama reading Alin's blog). Back to the point, if you're my mum you will know how I've always complained, whenever we listened to that announcement on donating blood on the radio, that I do want to donate, if they device a not painful way of doing it.

I do. I want to. And I have the blood type that is actually very useful, THE O.

My office yesterday held a blood donation drive. I was aware of the event two days prior, but nahh, at that time, Blenophobia? Check. Yet, at 3pm, yesterday, I somehow thought, how bad could it be? Sure it would be painful, but do I miss doing this for the rest of my life?

So I did. I donated, and it wasn't that bad after all. And I now have a cool looks-like-it-won't-be-permanent scar on the inside of my arm.

In the space of less than a year, I've actually overcome a few phobias of mine. I am afraid of height, but when I visited Langkawi last year I went on the cable car ride and it reallllyyy was scary, with the gondola swaying here and there but hey, I survived! And I am really squeamish with snakes but on the same Langkawi trip I actually had one phyton draped over my shoulder. (Of course I was soon shouting "take it off! take it off!" but it still counts). I actually think I can face height better after this. Though I still will not voluntarily have any unnecessary kind of contact with any snake.

These may seem trivial, but I am actually very proud of myself. That I am able to face my fears that before seem so unconquerable and did it. Conquered it. If I just put my mind to it.

It never takes too long

I am reading in a bit of !horror!, cringing here and there. ETA : It wasn't all that bad. I did learn a lot. Its like, that Sarah Bareilles song? Gravity? Something always brings me back to you? Not that dire, but in a moment of masochistic? suicidal? sadistic? tendency I will always, always go back and read.

Meeeeep. Forgive me, for I was young. And stupid. And emotional. And believed I was in love.

I am hoping, now, that I am older that I know better. ( I hate it, that that person was right all along.)

Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women. (An-Nur: 26)

Good read!

Pantas betul ulama' di Russia

Dua hari lepas, saya ada menerima sms daripada nombor yang tidak saya kenali. Sms-nya berbunyi begini :

"Salam, kpd smua yg brglr muslim, hri ini pkr meteorologi bhgn bunyi dr Rusia mndpti ssuatu bnyi gnjil sprti ngauman rksasa dr bwh mantel bumi. Menurut pra ulama, kmgkinn bsr itu ialah suara Dajal yg brusaha utk naik ke mka bmi. Oleh itu, kta disruh sntiasa x brhnti azan n solat, sbrkn kpd umat ISLAM."

Dan perkara pertama yang terlintas di fikiran saya ketika itu ialah ingin membalas : "Apa yang kau merepek ni, Dajjal..."

Terima Kasih Arif

Sepanjang Arif berada di Malaysia, terlalu banyak sumbangan yang telah dia berikan. Hari ini kita akan berpisah dengan dia buat setahun lagi. Arif, segala sumbangan dan jasamu begitu kami hargai. Semoga perjalanan tahun-tahun yang akan datang dimudahkan dan diberkati Tuhan. InsyaAllah.

EEEEEE

Perkhidmatan awam Malaysia bodoh macam @$#%@$#^@%Q^#%@Q

Benci benci benci benci benci benci Komuter dan LAGI TERAMAT BENCI pakcik pemandu bas T618 yang tak nak pandu hingga ke MATRADE sebab nak elak jam dan suruh penumpang jalan kaki sejauh-jauhnya. Bodohhh. Kecik-kecik tak nak mampos. Dah besar menyusahkan orang.

/lepas geram