KonMaried

After feeling left out, the unpopular kid in school for so long reading people discussing about shows they watched on Netflix, I surrendered to the temptation of consumerism and subscribed to the service.

One of the first shows I watched is of course, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. There are so many polarizing sentiments about her, but I like this one insight about the KonMari method: she's giving you permission to let go.

I know a few hoarders in my life, I've always wonder what makes them so hard to throw stuffs away. Perhaps permission is one of the things lacking.

I like how Marie tells us to say thank you to the stuffs you are letting go. I never had any problem throwing stuffs before, but this mindful way of separating with your belongings is something new. Whenever I do any cleaning, it is almost guaranteed that I'd throw away multiple bags of stuffs. (I guess that's what happened to my teenage diaries. A past Fadzlin on a cleaning mission decided written proofs of teenage angst were too embarrassing to keep).

But now, rather than feeling sad of separating with my stuffs, I feel sad at the amount of waste I'm creating. The earth is not large enough for all the rubbish humankind create, and it is also the Muslim girl in me who doesn't want to be a friend of shaiton.

I guess the solution is to live a minimalist lifestyle. Although I don't know if I'm ready for the kind of image change where I'm wearing only a few outfits repeatedly, it is something that I can try?

Separuh Aku

Semalam, di group WhatsApp keluarga Kamil yang aku hanyalah pembaca diam, pakcik dan makcikku bernostalgia mengenai zaman kanak-kanak mereka, antaranya perihal dibuli jiran sekitar kampung. Pak Jo, satu-satunya adik kandung lelaki arwah Ayah bercerita tentang dia diugut akan dilaporkan kepada polis Singapura, dan mengadu kepada Ayah. Ayah, yang dipanggil Abang Don oleh adik-adik ketawa dan berkata, mana polis Singapura ada kuasa di sini.

(Abang Don kemudiannya berkahwin dengan anak polis Singapura)

Aku, teruja dengan memori pakcik dan makcikku ini, meminta mereka menceritakan lagi mengenai Ayah.

Semua pemahamanku mengenai Ayah adalah dari sumber sekunder. Dari cerita-cerita Mama, Mak Ina, Achik, Pak Busu dan kini pakcik-makcik ku. Susuk tubuh Ayah itu terdiri dari;

Kepala; yang tidak tinggi, apabila berjalan kaki ke masjid untuk sembahyang raya hilang ditelan jalan berbukit

Muka; yang manis bermisai, selalu senyum dan berjenaka mengenakan adik-adik, namun suka juga merajuk

Bahu; yang mengeluarkan kudrat mengerjakan kebun Atok Kamil, tidak pernah lupa untuk balik semasa cuti semester dari UKM untuk membantu berkebun

Tangan; yang pandai memetik gitar, dengan lagu-lagu Elvis Presley

Kaki; yang mengayuh basikal menghantar orang-orang kampung ke mana-mana mereka mahu pergi

ya Allah, peliharalah susuk tubuh Ayahku ini. Jauhkanlah ia dari azab kubur dan api neraka, dan suatu hari nanti, Kau temukanlah kami berdua akhirnya di syurga.