Kisah Berpisah

Tiba di pejabat, berjumpa Anis dan Zaza dan tak sengaja air mata mengalir menceritakan kepergian.

Sebelumnya,

Menahan mengantuk di Lebuhraya Utara Selatan, kuliah Dr Yasir Qadhi mengenai Al-Biruni ditukar kepada nyanyian hingar kumpulan Korea bagi mengelakkan lelap.

Sebelumnya,

Berjalan sendirian ke tapak C-3-3 parking KLIA.

 

Sebelumnya,

 

Bersalam dengan Mama dan Insan di airport, mereka akan diambil sebentar lagi oleh Amir yang bakal tamat syif malam.

Sebelumnya,

Melambai selamat tinggal di pagar perlepasan dalam negeri buat adinda Aiman dan Wani, berpergian memulakan kehidupan baru di Kuching Sarawak. 

 

Selamat bertugas adikku di bumi kenyalang. Moga kalian berdua sentiasa dirahmati Allah dan dilindungiNya. Doakan kebahagiaan dan kesejahteraan keluarga kita selalu.

Parallel

in one universe we are well and together
in another i never knew you and happy with another

but in this one we are, 
walking in parallel,
glimpsing each other,
not meant to cross.

Teaching from Home Thoughts

I thought long and hard about putting this here. But this is worthy to be recorded. And perhaps in 30 years, when I am a pensioner reminiscing memories when I was young(er), I'd appreciate having put this in writing.

We are in the midst of COVID-19 outbreak, still practicing PKP. Classes have moved online since April but we are in a middle of Raya & Gawai break.

I have been highly interested in EdTech since a few years back, therefore moving classes online is not too difficult, technical wise. There are so many interesting tools to support educators. However I've been humbled on how challenging working in perceived isolation is. Having colleagues to talk to, greeting students face-to-face, walking to classes in sights of crowds of students and colleagues.. these are things I took for granted before. It cannot be downplayed how beneficial all these human interactions are for a good working environment. How these all factors in my love of teaching.

Without these faces to connect to, works seem so much of a chore. Things to get completed before the weekend comes. However, I am holding on to that feel of responsibility. I am responsible for the education of these students. So I better do all I can, with the best of my capability, without cheating them of even a little bit of what they should have, to teach. Passion wanes, and I am always so very fickle with mine at the first place. But being responsible? I hope this stays on.

Why was I reluctant to put this all here. The thing is, I am not unaware of how lucky I am to be in this position. How lucky that I am employed with a stable job, one that is doable online. But I thought... all concerns are valid. Especially here in my little corner of a blog. So, there.

Sebuah Entri Rindu Berjalan

Hari ni di FB, ternampak seorang financial advisor bertanya, "What will you do with the money you saved for travelling?"

Hm. Saya tidaklah ada sebuah tabung khas untuk kembara. Ya, saya menyimpan. Untuk pelbagai perkara. Kecemasan, hari tua, masuk rumah, kenduri kahwin. Tapi saya dan tabung ada satu persefahaman bahawa apabila selarinya bintang-bintang cuti semester, musim bunga/luruh/sejuk, dan promosi tiket kapal terbang, tabung 1MDB akan diseluk.

Sebenarnya, saya juga minat membaca mengenai perancangan kewangan. Banyak juga nasihat kewangan yang saya ikuti seperti membeli kereta mampu milik, membayar habis kad kredit setiap bulan, membuat potongan gaji bagi simpanan, menyimpan, simpan, simpan.

Sudah tentu si penyimpan dan si kuat berjalan bertembung.

Untuk menyejukkan hati si penyimpan, rata-rata perjalanan saya dirancang semuanya sendiri, tanpa menggunakan khidmat agensi pelancongan. Saya mengkaji sendiri corak naik turun tiket kapal terbang, mencari tempat penginapan berpatutan, mengkaji peta pengangkutan awam... ahh ianya amat memenatkan! Tapi cukup puas :) Kebiasaannya saya akan membeli tiket sangat awal, hampir 10 bulan sebelum perjalanan. Selain merebut harga murah, ianya juga memberi masa yang cukup untuk kajian tempatan saya.

Satu cara mengurangkan kos kembara ialah dengan memasak. Ini satu topik yang amat kontroversi, terdapat 'seasoned travelers' yang mengeji rakyat Malaysia yang memasak di bilik hotel. Saya faham perspektif mereka, ada risiko kerosakan bilik hotel apabila kita tidak berhati-hati. Namun, saya amat, sangat, sungguh, berjaga-jaga dalam hal ini. Nantilah, di entri yang lain saya ceritakan apa langkah-langkah yang kami ambil ketika memasak.

Sebenarnya selain berjimat, faktor lain adalah kerana muak dengan masakan tempatan. Teringat ketika kami di Istanbul, suatu hari Mama sudah tidak lalu lagi makan sarapan roti, keju, dan buah zaitun yang disediakan pihak hotel. Pekerja hotel yang prihatin siap bertanya, if there's something wrong with the food. Dia berjanji akan memasak omelette untuk Mama bagi sarapan esok hari. Saya, Pak Busu dan Mak Usu mengendeng meminta omelette juga (walaupun saya, personally suka makan roti, keju, dan buah zaitun. Mungkin berjodohan dengan orang Turki? Eh). Esoknya pagi-pagi selepas Subuh mama memasak nasi. Saya bertanya, bukankah kita nak makan omelette sarapan nanti? Mama kata: ya, nak makan dengan nasi.

Berselera mama makan nasi, telur dan kicap.

Fusion nasi, telur, buah zaitun dan keju.

Ingatan PKP

Walau berdepan risiko menjadi seorang 'tone deaf' dengan mengatakan PKP ini terdapat sebuah kurniaan, saya tidak dapat lari daripada memikirkan perkara ini.

Moga tidak dilabel parasit.

Sejak 2014 apabila mula berkhidmat di Melaka, kejadian saya dapat bekerja dan duduk di rumah hanyalah bila saya 'terpilih' (baca: memilih) untuk menghadiri kursus-kursus atau bengkel di kampus Shah Alam. Itupun selalunya tidak lebih dua, atau tiga hari.

Hari ini, hampir dua bulan saya bekerja dari rumah. Alhamdulillah, dapat makan bersama, duduk bersama, sembahyang berjemaah bersama, borak-borak dengan Mama tanpa melalui telefon. Semalam ketika saya sedang duduk menunggu doa selepas sembahyang dari imam Amir, saya terfikir. "I feel the safest at this moment". Paling tenang.

PKP datang membawa pelbagai perasaan; cemas atas keselamatan semua, bimbang dengan nenek di kampung, sunyi tanpa rakan sekerja, bersalah, kecewa.

Tapi saya fikir di masa hadapan nanti saya hanya akan mengenangkan perasaan-perasaan positif; gembira, berani mencuba, cukup, selamat dan tenang.

Ulasan Filem Marriage Story

Minggu lepas saya menonton cerita "Marriage Story" dengan Mama di Netflix. Dua motivasi saya mengajak Mama menonton cerita ini:

1. Filem ini mendapat ulasan yang sangat baik dari rata-rata komen yang saya baca. Kedua-dua pelakon utama dan pengarah/penulis menerima pencalonan di Golden Globe dengan persembahan mereka.

2. Adam Driver.

Merujuk kepada sebab pertama, saya bukanlah seorang yang senang terpengaruh dengan filem-filem "Oscar bait". Filem bagi saya haruslah menghiburkan, dan bukanlah "preachy". Impresi saya (dan ini bukanlah bermakna ianya betul) terhadap filem-filem yang tercalon untuk kategori "Best Picture" adalah ianya bosan dengan isu yang berat. Adik saudara saya mengesyorkan saya menonton filem "Parasite", dengan"plot-twist" yang mengerikan. Ianya turut menerima ulasan-ulasan yang sangat baik. Walaupun saya sedikit tertarik, bunyinya seperti filem ini akan menyebabkan saya rasa tertekan selepas habis menontonnya, maka saya hanya mendengar plot cerita ini dengan "spoilers" daripada Muhammad sahaja.

Namun filem Marriage Story dikategorikan sebagai "comedy-drama", melancarkan beberapa "memes" di internet daripada babak-babaknya. Ianya "intriguing", menimbulkan sebuah rasa minat dan ingin tahu. Sungguhpun begitu, sebab pertama ini sebenarnya tidak cukup kuat untuk menarik saya menonton cerita ini sehinggalah..

Saya habis menonton Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker yang turut dibintangi Adam Driver. Saya adalah peminat tegar siri filem ini. Antara ingatan paling awal saya mengenai Star Wars adalah menonton adegan pertempuran di Endor bersama Ewoks dalam filem Return of the Jedi di RTM. Dengan "Sequel Trilogy" yang dilancarkan oleh The Force Awakens, watak yang paling mengesankan adalah Kylo Ren/Ben Solo. Saya tidak akan menceritakan punca kehampaan saya dengan filem terkini ini, cukup untuk dinyatakan Adam Driver sungguh cemerlang namun keseluruhan cerita ini tidak memuaskan. Ia menyebabkan saya rasa tergantung dan dikecewakan selepas 2 tahun menunggu sambungannya.

Marriage Story adalah satu filem yang sangat jauh dengan Star Wars. Ianya filem yang menceritakan sebuah kisah cinta melalui perceraian. Menonton filem ini, kita faham mengapa dua watak suami-isteri ini memerlukan perpisahan, namun tiada seorang pun dipaparkan sebagai "watak jahat". Charlie (Adam Driver) dan Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) keduanya adalah peribadi yang baik, dan mencuba yang terbaik untuk meleraikan kehidupan mereka secara aman. Konflik berlaku apabila mereka diwakili peguam-peguam cekap yang cukup faham dengan sistem buas perundangan berkait perceraian. Perkara-perkara yang sebelumnya nampak kecil seperti Charlie yang tidak perasan kerusi keselamatan anaknya tidak dipasang lengkap pada kereta sewa, atau Nicole yang sedikit pening selepas minum wain di waktu makan malam dijadikan senjata untuk menyerang peribadi mereka sebagai ibu-bapa di kamar mahkamah dalam menuntut hak penjagaan anak mereka, Henry. Bak kata Nora peguam bagi Nicole, "Sistem ini memenangkan perlakuan buruk".

Ada satu babak yang amat mengesankan bagi saya. Satu malam ketika penggiliran jagaan anak di pihak Charlie, pintu pagar di rumah Nicole rosak dan tidak dapat ditutup. Nicole telah menghubungi Charlie untuk bantuan. Setelah berjaya dibaiki, mereka berdua menolak pagar yang berat itu bersama, perlahan-lahan menutupnya rapat. Satu perlambangan yang amat berpadanan dengan apa yang sedang mereka berdua hadapi.

Filem ini jujur sebagai sebuah cerita mengenai perleraian rumah tangga. Walaupun ia berjaya mendatangkan sebuah rasa sesalan kepada saya sebagai penonton di atas perpisahan Charlie dan Nicole, ianya tidak sesekali menawarkan bahawa mereka akan kembali bersama. Di akhir filem, Charlie dan Nicole berusaha melengkapkan realiti baru penjagaan-bersama mereka, dan mereka berdua juga nampak di posisi yang baik dalam kehidupan baru masing-masing.

Marriage Story memberikan rasa katarsis kepada saya, sesuatu yang hilang tetapi amat diperlukan dalam menyaksikan The Rise of Skywalker.

The Further Escape

They say one of the things you can buy that actually make you richer is to travel. But they didn't tell what comes afterwards, a deep longing for another trip, again and again and again.

These past few weeks I've been attacked by the travel bug. Even though technically we traveled this year, February felt forever ago. I miss traveling so much that I feel like crying. I don't know if the underlying issue is the need to escape reality (and I don't feel like analyzing myself now, much.) The Google Flights website received so many traffic from me, trying to find an interesting place to go within a sensible ticket cost. Alas, the search is still unfruitful.

Early this year we went to London. And Brussels. And Amsterdam. And last year I went to London. And Liverpool. And Paris.

I don't know why, but before I went to my first trip to England & France in 2018, I hardly could say out loud where exactly I'm heading. It felt so very pretentious saying I'm taking a trip to London and Paris. The truth is, I could hardly believe it, that I actually went there, and twice! I fell in love with London in such a deep way, that I had to take Mama there just the next year. It is something about the buildings, and the museums, and just the ambiance. England felt very familiar from the Enid Blyton stories I read as children, and later on all the guilty pleasures Regency Romance I devoured after SPM. Also probably Bridget Jones with a liberal dosage of Love Actually too.

Anyway, as writing is therapeutic and I am self-healing my self-diagnosed travel flu, here are pictures from my 2018 trip, with some captions.

2018. When we arrived, I was so out of it with jet lag, and desperately just
wanted to sleep. But sweet, sweet Uncle Victor actually went out of his
ways to cook for us. So this was actually an early dinner, London time,
but it was around 2am Malaysian time

The next day we had to take a train to Liverpool, but not before breakfast at Uncle Victor's house. Look at that bag of packed fruits for us! Uncle, you have a younger brother tak?

Here is my first picture in England, in front of Uncle Victor's house in Fulham. This where I almost cried, because it. sank. in. The freezing weather and ALL the beautiful buildings around really drove the point that I'm in London. Look at how big that grin is.

Here's my travel buddy, and the one I owe the trip to. Back in 2017, I was planning the trip with someone but it fell through. Then I asked Elyn, do you want to go to UK with me? And guess what she said? Jom. adgasdjkahshgk

Percayalah, ini tengah posing. This is the station nearest to Uncle Victor's. There was a funny story when we wanted to reload our (borrowed from Uncle Victor) Oyster Card. The only operating machine was coins only, and our coins kept on being rejected. It turns out it was old coins, they've changed their notes and coins few years back.

The only picture I took inside the train because I had such terrible motion sickness! I never had it that bad. I guess it was the jet lag and still feeling tired, and our seats were also facing backwards. To make it worse, we were hungry (even though we had breakfast) and bought tuna sandwich with tea in the train. The food somehow made it worse. I still have some trauma with tuna sandwich.

When we arrived in Liverpool, I was still very nauseous so we took the black cab to our hotel. When we tried to pay using the old 5 pounds note, the taxi driver told us it was no longer in use. OHHH barulah faham. I laid down for a little while and when it was better, we took a walk to Albert Dock here, just in front of our hotel. Sigh. I miss this place so much.

More Albert Dock..

Seketul Alin di Liverpool. It was so windy and very cold.

Everton official store in Liverpool One shopping mall. Such a clever play of words. Tapi kalah jugak.

Dinner with Halal Nando's in Liverpool One. Weyyy laparrr.

Waiting for the bus to go to...

Anfield! It was sooo magical. We went to the Stadium Tour (thank you Elyn!) and at the end there was a Gerrard exhibition. I cried watching the clip on Istanbul again.

Saya dengan ini mengumumkan bahawa Klopp is Abah. Eh.

I don't think this can ever be forgotten.

How la this is the staple British food? Patutlah Mat Dan tak mau balik UK dah.

Tengoklah betapa murahnya barangan dapur. Sila jangan convert.

Breakfast at Pret. Sebelum tergigit pastry tak halal.

Jalan-jalan sekitar Liverpool City and seeing some familiar faces...

Back in London. Strawberry singgit je satu pek baq hang! Makan la sampai buncit!

Entrance to Station. Kejadian stesen Tube biasa hangpa pun bukan main lawa.. Manala cheq tak jatuh chentaaa

Dinner at TukDin in London. Imagine being hungry, and cold, and then you get to eat nasi panas-panas with some spicy chicken. Almost heaven.

Uncle Victor melayan kitorang yang nak pergi tengok Stamford Bridge. He parked at a no park zone just to indulge us. Nasib baik tak kena saman.

With a cup of hot coffee from Pret at Hyde Park. Who needs hand warmers when you can have sweet, sweet caffeine? Yang ini pun jaket pinjam.

This was my favourite day of the whole 2018 trip. When we walked along Thames river from Westminster Abbey, to Tower Bridge. I felt so full looking at all the beautiful old buildings, the river, the people.. I love majestic cities. so. much.

Sebelum Spider-man lawan Mysterio dekat sini, kami sampai dulu dah.

Faham tak betapa nikmatnya makan nasi dengan sambal pedas, telur dan timun dekat London? Don't laugh at me when I pack my rice cooker.

Last picture in front of the hotel we stayed near Bayswater. That yellow bag was so heavy, panjang Bismillah we both baca before attempting to bring it down. In the end we were scolded by the guy manning the counter for not asking for help. Selamba je dia angkat turun.

Then Paris. This was Gare du Nord, terminus of Eurostar from London.

Just outside of the station there is this Halal restaurant. I went there alone, Elyn was waiting for our e-hailing driver. Owner was so friendly and know how much we need spiciness in our shawarma.

Inside of the car heading towards our hotel, me and Elyn both can smell the food. And OMG, it was as delicious as it smelled and looked. Seriously, go here and buy if you are in Gare du Nord.

Inside the Metro station heading towards Val d' Europe.

Apparently we didn't take lots of pictures, busy shopping. Jumpa satu geng Malaysians tengah shopping jugak, this one pakcik tengah fikir-fikir nak beli ke tak this one beautiful lamb leather bag. I pun buat hasutan dekat dia "Pakcik, biar menyesal beli, jangan menyesal tak beli." Later, when we stumbled upon each other again I asked his daughter, "Beli tak?" "Beli!" LOL.

As if we can go to Paris and not visit this towering steel. I feel like I can hear La Vie En Rose playing while looking at this picture. It must be all the times I watched Sabrina when I was younger.

From on top of the tower. Cold, cold, cold.

All roads in Paris lead to Arc de Triomphe.

Walking along Champs-Elysees. We entered L'occitane and while we were browsing, I had a moment of self-awareness and said to Elyn: "We are actually shopping in Paris". Macam Mak Datin gitu.

In front of the Louvre. I was standing on something here.

Soooo many historical paintings and it is such a waste not knowing much about them. I feel like I could've appreciated them more if I know their stories. Next time I must follow a guide. We got to see the majestic Monalisa though! Cue Da Vinci Code.

One of the many bridges across the Seine.

The two majestic towers of Notre Dame.

Halal Vietnamese restaurant near our hotel. But the chicken is fake chicken meat?? The texture is not the usual chicken texture. Probably chicken-flavoured something.

Suddenly it was time to go home. So sad. This was our meal at the CDG airport because I know I would be hungry waiting to be served on the flight. Sos cili bawak dari Malaysia.

We looked for a place to do prayer at the airport and found this secluded area. Not long after someone else had the same idea as us.

Emirates in flight entertainment, the top hits in UK back in 1997. When Prince William was still good looking and not a cheating sc*m. Berani kau curang terhadap Kate yang gorgeous tu.

In-flight meal. Eh, bolehlah.

And that was it. I do feel so much richer for having been on this trip. I thank Allah for making it possible... and thank you so much to Elyn too. I am so blessed.

When I need to, I'll post about the 2019 trip. May all of us be given the opportunities to travel too, again and again.